


Empty Spaces

by KaterinaSentByCyberLife



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gavin Reed is Bad at Feelings, Heavy Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Not a Love Story, Please Don't Hate Me, and i do too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaterinaSentByCyberLife/pseuds/KaterinaSentByCyberLife
Summary: Gavin Reed dies during a dangerous mission and Nines has to pick up the pieces
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71





	Empty Spaces

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.. so I found this when digging through my other WIP's. And it made me sad. I came to share the feels cause it was too much for me to handle. It's a very melancholic fic. 
> 
> Disclaimer: there are no happy endings here. 
> 
> So... Enjoy I guess?

It took Nines hours to find enough courage to enter Gavin’s empty flat, and he only did it because he was worried about the cat Gavin has left behind.

He took a deep breath in when he slid the key into the lock and turned it. It worked smoothly. For some reason, Nines thought it would have been harder to open it, with its owner whisked away, somewhere where Nines couldn't reach him, where he could not see him again…

As soon as the door opened, Gavin’s black cat was twirling around Nines’ ankles, meowing loudly, before it stopped and looked up, almost as if it realized he is not it’s master, that he’s not him.

It hissed and run back into the flat, saving Nines the hassle of chasing it around the corridors.

He entered the dark flat, air stuffy and unnecessarily hot. Gavin must have left the heating on in order to feel crispy warm as soon as he’ll get back in there, saving himself the hassle of being cold.

It felt like a punch into the gut. Nines could imagine Gavin fussing with the thermostat, and then talking to his cat, before stepping out and locking the door, humming a long-forgotten tune as he walked towards the elevator…

He shook his head.

Focus. Stay focused. Gavin’s gone. You need to check on his cat and grab some clean clothes for Gavin to be- to be-

The flat was a bit messy, empty coffee cups flooding the sink in the kitchen, an article of clothing laying on the ground and the arm of the couch every now and there. A lonely sock laid on the windowsill right next to a dying plant. It was beyond salvation.

Gavin had surprisingly a lot of books and some of them seemed to be more than thirty years old. A few of them, especially the Harry Potter series and the Lord of the Rings series seemed to receive some old-fashioned tough loving, judging from the torn binding and bent corners. Nines run the fingers over their broken spines, thinking about Gavin's hand taking those, flipping through them, about everything he could feel reading those, about who could possibly be his favourite characters…

He’ll never get to ask him these questions, will he? He’ll never get to ask him anything and never thought of asking him while he was still there. They happily wasted their time bickering, talking back to each other, making silly comments and jokes, talking about shit. 

No, he can't think like that. There is still more he has to do. He has to make sure the trial with Gavin's murdered will go well. He needs to make sure all of their cases are closed properly, not to throw shade on Gavin's remarkable career. He needs to make sure his cat gets to live. 

Speaking of the cat, Nines could see those pointy yellow eyes staring at him from the hideout under his couch. He could feel a weak smile pulling at his lips when he kneeled down and reached out towards the cat, who, after pondering over it for a bit, decided he’s not dangerous and came out of its hiding to sniff his fingers, and then rub his cheek against them reluctantly.

"Hey, you. I don't know what your name is. I wouldn't put it beside Gavin to just call you Bitch… so I guess I'll just call you Cat for now," Nines whispered. "Where are your bowls? You must be hungry."

As if it could understand, the cat led him to the bowls under the kitchen window, both decisively empty. It took him just a few seconds to find conveniently placed dry food and fill the bowls up with that and some fresh water. The cat started eating right away, and Nines petted it reluctantly before returning to the living room, sitting down on Gavin's couch heavily.

It was so eerie. It looked like Gavin has left the flat mere minutes ago and can come back any minute now, but Nines knew that he’ll never open the front door, never let out a sigh of relief of making it through another day, never will-

There was an envelope with Nines name written on it sitting on the coffee table. For a good few seconds, Nines just stared at the few messily written letters, before diving in and ripping the envelope open. Perhaps Gavin being gone was all a stupid joke of some sorts. Some test of Nines’ deviancy, his ability to feel. Perhaps he’s watching his every move now and has a good laugh about it and will step out of some idiotic kind of hideout and-

The envelope contained a single memory chip, wrapped in a sheet of paper with a simple command written on it.

_Play me._

So that was what Nines did, reading it with the file reader on his barren forearm.

Immediately, Gavin’s coarse, smoky, yet not unpleasant voice filled his audio processors. It was a recording.

"Hey, toaster," Gavin greeted him. "If you play this recording, I've likely died in a line of duty, and you are in my flat, picking up some clothes for my burial or some shit. Feed Marquez while you at it. He's your responsibility now. I think you could use a good pet, and Marquez is the best cat in the world. Or give him to Connor. He'll know what to do with it."

Gavin fell quiet for a moment, and then, he sighed deeply.

“Look, Nines, I think you must feel super shitty right now and the jazz. Losing a partner is never fun, and losing a friend- yes, I did consider you my friend and much more, just never managed to tell you in the eye- sucks even more. I don’t think you actually would, but still, just in case… Don’t you fucking dare to do anything stupid. Don’t you fucking dare, Nines. You’ll get through it. You will. You are one resilient motherfucker, and I know you’ll make it. In case you are completely unbothered by my heroic demise, you definitely know where you can stick it. Or ask Anderson. I’m sure he can elaborate.”

Nines could not help but smile at the worlds. He could imagine the expression on Gavin’s face as he said those words, so animate, so vivid, so zealous. Everything about Gavin always had so much life in it- his beady, shining eyes, the spark in his walk, the energy in his gestures.

The world was suddenly a much more serious, darker place without him around. 

“Shitty jokes aside, there are a few things you should know about me, Nines. There is many, many more, but this chip can only hold so much, and I have only so much time.

First of all- stop blaming yourself. Tell everyone to stop blaming themselves. It's not anybody's fault. Living with guilt if you have no way of redemption is no fun. I've been there, done that. No fun whatsoever. You can take my word on that or discover it the hard way. Or again, just ask Anderson. He's been there for quite a long time after his son died."

This time, there was no joke there. This was serious. Gavin was serious.

Gavin was rarely ever serious. He was either annoyed or busy being sarcastic. Tender, of a rare few occasions.

But serious? Never.

“Okay,” said the ghost of Gavin. “Nines, I know you’ll hate me after you hear this. I know you’ll hate me for not telling you sooner and for reaching out from my grave to hurt you. I’m sorry. But I cannot die with this secret. I’m not sure how much of a secret it is, because sometimes I think almost everyone but you knows. Connor definitely does, that observant ass.

Truth is, I was not ready to tell you. I had no idea how you'll react. You are a black box to me. I don't know how you function. I don't know how you'll react. I never knew. I have no idea how you feel about me. And risking everything I've found in you for the sake of stupid love confessions- I couldn't. I waited for a sign. Who knows, maybe I just missed it. We work differently, you and me, but sometimes, I had a feeling that our hearts were beating the same, despite one pumping red blood and the other blue.

Okay, I have to say it now. You probably figured it by now, being a smartass and all, but… Nines, I love you. I think I’ve loved you for a while now. You are a real person. You are alive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Or punch them. That’ll save you some time, I guess.

But yeah… I love you, Nines. I love you. Never forget it. You are good enough to be loved. You are so much more than you think you are. You came to me and took me for what I was. You gave me a chance I didn't even know I wanted. Having you in my life made me a better person, I think. I became less of a bigoted ass. I tried to be better. For you, maybe. I wanted to prove to you that you meant a world for me. You were the first person I've let into my life in almost twenty years. I was scared shitless, but I don't regret even one second I spent with you. I just wished I've spent them wiser. 

I love you, Nines.

I love you and I’ll never learn whether you loved me back. Whether you were even into humans. Or men.

But I guess it’s fine.

God… I'd give everything to have just one more normal day in the DPD with you. You'd bring me coffee. I'd be a sarcastic little shit about it. I'd maybe made you laugh. We would solve some crimes. Fool around with Connor. Have a mildly antagonistic conversation with Anderson. Get lunch with Tina. And maybe, after all the work is done, I'd find the courage to ask you out, at last. I don't know what would happen then. But should I get that chance, I'd not waste it. Maybe we'd end up being friends. That would be fine. I could use a friend.

Or maybe, over time, you… you'd notice. And you'd be overjoyed. We'd get together. Wake up together. Do some freaky android lovemaking together. I'm not even sure you can do that. How wacky is it to love someone when you don't even know how sex with them works? Guess that only proves how much of a fool does on become in love. 

But you have to believe me, Nines. If you were to ever believe me, even if it’s just that one thing, it would be this.

I love you. My Nines. My sweet, good, annoying Nines.

Please, don’t hate me.

That’s the only thing I want from you.

Don’t hate me.”

Gavin fell quiet, and Nines could hear something that sounded like a soft sob.

He was crying.

Gavin was crying.

Nines gripped his shirt over where his heart was beating. It hurt.

“I… I guess that’s all I will say for now. Don’t get me wrong, babe- yeah, babe, I’d totally call you that if we ever got together. I know. It’s stupid. Shut up. I have so many things I want to tell you and so many questions to ask you. Maybe I will. Or maybe I won’t. So I will just end this sob fest with saying it one last time.

I love you, Nines.

I love you.”

And with that, the recording cut off, but not before one more broken sob came through.

When Connor found Nines, he was curled on Gavin’s couch, covered by his blanket, empty eyes staring forward, unmoved. He was alive as hinted by the LED on his temple. In his hand, he was clutching an empty envelope with his name on it. A paper with messy handwriting was ordering him to play something. Something Nines was likely clutching in his other hand, the one pressed to his chest.

“Nines,” Connor spoke up softly, not daring to disturb his brother in such a vulnerable state by initiating their non-verbal connection.

No response.

Connor sat down on the ground, under the couch Nines was on, and waited. Gavin’s big black cat came to him and curled up on his lap after concluding he is not a danger and provides a nice source of heat. He scratched it behind its ears, and it started purring.

After what seemed to be hours, a small voice came from somewhere above Connor, muffled and coarse.

“He loved me.”

“I know,” Connor breathed out.

“How could I miss that?”

“It was not all that obvious. I’m just good at watching people.”

"For how long?" Nines asked him, voice flat, devoid of any emotion. Connor imagined there was not much fight left in him after the initial turmoil Gavin's confession through the veil has caused.

“I don’t know. But he was attracted to you since the very beginning,” Connor admitted quietly, turning to his brother. He was laying on his back, eyes hidden behind his arm. His lips were quivering.

“Nines… I’m sorry. I liked him. Not in a way you did, but I liked him,” he offered softly.

“I think I love him,” Nines confessed softly. “I didn’t realize it in time. And he’s dead now.”

He extended one of his hands towards the ceiling, examining it, wiggling his fingers around, almost as if reaching for something.

“He’s dead,” he repeated. “Gone forever, Connor. What do I do now?”

“I don’t know, Nines. When met Hank, I knew I wanted to be his friend. When I met Markus, I knew it was right to become a deviant and fight for our freedom. When I met you, I knew I should take you to the DPD and have you work with Gavin. But now, I don’t know.”

“When will they bury him?”

“They already had. This morning. Everyone was there. Everyone from DPD. Hank. Tina. Chris. Fowler. Perkins and his lackeys. Even Markus and the crew turned up. It was beautiful. They found his will. He ordered us to play Show Must Go On, or else he’ll come to haunt us.”

Nines cackled.

“What an ass.”

“I know, right? That’s so him.”

They fell quiet for a moment.

“I’m really sorry that I missed the ceremony.”

“Nah. Gavin would understand. He was never the one for ceremonies, was he?”

“He wasn’t. Remember how he tried to ditch the DPD’s annual ball?”

“Yeah,” Connor chuckled. “But you convinced him to go.”

“That I did. I was still very confused and beside you, Gavin was the one stable presence in my life. We got to pick a suit together and he looked great in it, despite not shutting up about how he looks like an idiot. And the ball itself, we spent in on one of the balconies, mostly just sticking to each other and talking and-“

“And?” Connor pressed softly.

“I was so glad,” Nines whispered. “It was the first time he really relaxed around me. He was still a witty ass, but he was so… fascinating.”

Nines sat up, pulling his knees under his chin, still curled up under the blanket that smelled of Gavin.

“What happened to the android who shot him?”

"He was interrogated. Perkins did quite a number on him. Turns out not even FBI likes the detectives being killed in the line of duty. Honestly, the whole station has a personal vendetta on him. Guards have to be placed in front of his cell day and night. But they are not very diligent."

“Is he regretting it?”

“He’s having a blast from it. He says he’s wondering whether you’ll go after him.”

"I've certainly considered that possibility. However, just killing him would give him an easy way out. I want to tear him into pieces over and over and over again and make him regret ever laying a single finger on Gavin," Nines confessed.

“I’m with you there, brother.”

“Think Fowler would give me a little one on one time with him?”

“If he doesn’t, I’ll make sure you get a few unsupervised minutes. I’m sure Hank will help too. Just don’t kill him, okay?”

“I would be that merciful to him,” Nines smiled, and there was a fair bit of bloodthirst in that smile. Connor always knew Nines was more aggressive in nature than he was, but this was new. He now knew he’ll need an eye on him.

“Will you be alright?” Connor asked him quietly instead, looking at Nines’ tightly balled fists. He climbed up to the couch, sitting next to his brother. Nines leaned into him, head falling heavily on Connor’s shoulder. Connor rested his head against Nines’. The service they held for Gavin, his own hand holding a handgun when they held the three-volley salute over the coffin Gavin’s body was laying in, Hank’s tearful face, Officer Chen sobbing in Chris’ arms… it all came back and it hit him like a truck.

Gavin's gone. Gavin Reed is gone. And he dares to ask Nines, his partner, his best friend, whether he will be alright when the world has come crumbling around them.

“I don’t know,” Nines said quietly. “Will you?”

“One day probably. Gavin wouldn’t want us to give up. He might actually come back and haunt us if we do,” Connor said, and he hated how his voice broke in the end and how he didn’t manage to prevent a sob from shaking it up, shaking his shoulders.

Nines gave his brother one look, his blue eyes too filled with tears. Connor had never seen him cry before, and it’s scary. So scary.

“I know, Cons,” he hummed softly, reaching out to hug him. Connor buried the face into his shoulder, letting it all out. He was done being strong for everyone. He can be strong again tomorrow. 

“We have to do this for him,” Nines told him. “We can’t let him down. Not after he didn’t let us down.”

"We won't," Connor agreed meekly, between two sobs. Nines pulled him a bit closer, and Connor allowed it, embracing his brother tightly. They stayed like this for the better part of the day, mourning the exceptional man who has died in the line of duty, knowing all too well they have to cope. For him. Because of him. 

Gavin Reed is, after all, never truly gone until they live to carry his memory on.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so... that just happened. I killed Gavin. And let Nines suffer through it.
> 
> I'm sorry. Here, have a hug. I need one as well.
> 
> Feel free to come scream at me in the comment section. As always, kudos and comments are much appreciated. 
> 
> Stay safe everyone,  
> Kat


End file.
